F.O.M.O.*

Design & Image: Laura Messersmith

Design & Image: Laura Messersmith

Lately I've been thinking a lot about time. Days, hours, and minutes and how all of these small bits of time add up to weeks, months, and years which seem to pass faster and faster as I get older. Remember how summer vacation in elementary school used to feel like an endless, golden stretch of days? More than 2 months to do nothing but swim, have sleepovers, and ride bikes! And it all crept by at a deliciously glacial pace. Bliss. 

Compare that to when I checked the mail last week and found our apartment lease renewal notice among the catalogs and credit card offers. I could hardly believe we were coming up on a year in New York. Yes, the boxes are unpacked and we do have pictures on the walls, but it still feels like we just moved in! Where did the time go?

I suppose what really got me thinking about time were the moments on our trip to Austria & Croatia, and more recently to Santa Barbara county, when I felt the simultaneous push-pull of exploration vs. relaxation. I wanted my feet to cover every square inch, to see it all and not 'waste' a second of our precious time. But, I also wanted to sit quietly, preferably with a cool glass of white or rosé in hand, and just feel the peace and beauty of our surroundings roll over me.

That conflict spills over into regular, real, non- vacation life too. There are so many things I want to learn, places I want to go, and experiences I want to have. I've talked before about some of my goals for 2014 and my desire to allow myself time to do ‘nothing’ like reading books. I suppose I’m hoping that by recording my efforts here that I’ll be a little more aware of when I need to let go and enjoy the relaxation moments or be more focused in the exploration times.

Which brings us to today, this afternoon is gorgeous and sunny – but I’ve been sitting in the park pecking away on my phone for the last hour writing this post. Time to hold myself to this little burst of insight. Time to bask, finish The Fault in Our Stars (excellent, by the way), and soak it all in.

*Fear of Missing Out

Book Love

Yesterday I did something truly decadent.

I sipped coffee and read a book in bed for two solid hours. It was heavenly.

Shocking, I know! Did you realize that this was the blog of a degenerate, caffeine addled, book-reader?!? (Now would be the time to clutch your pearls and search for the smelling salts.)

Okay, so maybe we have different definitions of the word ‘decadent.…’

Image and Design: Laura Messersmith

Image and Design: Laura Messersmith

When I was in high school I used to spend a ton of time reading (the coffee drinking came later), but it’s been a long time since I’ve spent more than a few minutes with a book – long flights are the notable exception. But, as I’ve gotten a little older and the daily to-do list has gotten a little longer I don’t seem to have the time to sit still for an extended period of time anymore.

And, somewhere along the line I got into the mindset that once I had my ‘chores’ done, then I could relax. Mike teases me that I never drink hot coffee because I am forever pouring a cup and then immediately abandoning it to start an unrelated task. End result: it’s usually lukewarm by the time I get around to drinking it.

But how to put the breaks on without feeling guilty about leaving the to-do list undone (at least for a little while)? Flying more often just to read seems a bit impractical.

I think the more permanent answer is seeing reading not as a waste of time – the Huffington Post has more than a handful of reasons why it’s actually good for you – but as an activity that is valuable and worthwhile. We encourage children to read all the time, why can’t we do the same for ourselves as adults?

So, I’ll be rededicating my time to moving my bookmark a little further along in the pages of the books on my nightstand and rest comfortably in my decadent lifestyle.