Memorial Day

Memorial Day in New York City | Image: Laura Messersmith

When I was growing up we always celebrated Memorial Day with the annual community parade. The school band learned to march for a day; local fire and police departments showed up in their dress uniforms; all the Boy and Girl Scouts carried banners for their troops. The parade went straight up the main road of town to the small leafy cemetery for speeches and a twenty-one gun salute. At that point it was a three-day weekend and later the un-official/official start of Summer.

I didn’t learn about the reason for Memorial Day until many years later when my husband (a Navy veteran) explained that today is the day we remember the men and women who have fallen in service to the United States of America. I hope today was a day of rest for you, but also one of reflection. I’m in awe of what these brave individuals and their families have given. Today is the day we give thanks for their courage and honor their sacrifice.

Re-Entry

Image & Design: Laura Messersmith

This weekend I broke my own rules. And, I wish I could say this is one of those posts where I say how freeing it was or how I realize now that my rules were silly, but it isn’t. Nope, I really wish I had followed the rules – today would have gone much more smoothly.

Perhaps I should be clearer, yes?

The rules I’m referring to are my Pre-Travel Home Prep Rules. Not yet widely recognized, but it’s only a matter of time before Real Simple emails asking for an editorial piece. You, as my trusted readers will get the inside track.

I love coming home to a place where peace and serenity rule and in an ideal world I would do all of these every time we travel for more than a night. In this actual world that we live in I maybe get to about 75%, which still makes a huge difference. These aren’t about setting the alarm or stopping the mail (which I also recommend); they’re about making home feel welcoming and that re-entry day less stressful.

Laura’s Pre-Travel Home Prep

Clean Sheets. This one is the most ‘unnecessary,’ but is my most favorite – in the midst of all the pre-travel laundry I try to throw in our sheets for a cycle. Because after traveling isn’t it awesome to get home to your own bed? And isn’t it even better when it’s made up with fresh sheets? I rest my case.

Pack Neatly. Yes, the suitcase, but also the ‘discards;’ all those things you considered taking, but then wisely decided not to because you were packing light. Putting them away (rather than leaving them strewn around) means less chaos. Always a good thing in my book.

Weed. Not the garden, the refrigerator. Doing a little pruning of the fridge shelves and getting rid of that withering bouquet of flowers before you lock up reduces the likelihood of mysterious smells when you return.

Clear the Decks. Run the dishwasher, and take out the trash & recyclables. A sink full of dirty dishes or an overflowing garbage can don’t really say “Welcome Home” do they? Doing this step sets the stage for a good morning your first day back.

So, there you have it. My tried and true Pre-Travel Home Prep steps – if the day ever comes that I manage all four I will let you know. In the meantime, how about you? I there anything you always do to make the first day back a little easier?

A Special Occasion

The Guest of Honor | Image: Laura Messersmith

The maternal side of Mike’s family has a tradition of making memory books for Special Occasions – proper noun – like birthdays and anniversaries. Each person in the family gets a page to capture their thoughts, record funny stories, collect pictures, poems, Bible verses, and memories deemed worthy of the memory book.

This past weekend was one such Special Occasion: the surprise 93rd birthday celebration of Eleanor Fleming, Mike’s grandmother.

You might be wondering: why 93, not 95 or three years ago at age 90?

Lucy, Mike’s mom and plan mastermind, pointed out that we never really know how many years we have left, so why wait for a number that’s a multiple of 5? Why delay an opportunity to celebrate the life of someone who lived through the better part of the 20th Century, raised 7 children, and is the grandmother to 12? Why wait to honor a person who continues to avidly follow the exploits of the Baltimore Orioles, clean-up at Jeopardy! night after night, listen to opera, and can still recite the poems she memorized as a schoolgirl?

I can’t think of a good reason to wait either, especially when there are so few occasions that bring the people we love together in one place.

The deception to throw off any suspicion from the real party in the works began with a ladies lunch on Grandma Fleming’s birthday. Meanwhile, people from across the country – Kansas, Illinois, Massachusetts, Virginia – arrived and were ‘stashed’ in hotels and guest bedrooms around town. Everyone pitched in to make the big reveal memorable and personal – gathering pictures for a slideshow, baking cupcakes, reading poems, and of course creating pages for the memory book – a salute to Grandma Fleming’s life and the role she’s played in theirs.

When the appointed time arrived and Grandma Fleming stepped out of the elevator to the greetings of her children and grandchildren she was definitely surprised. The look of amazed joy that her family would go to the trouble to show her she is loved is something I will remember for a long time. Well worth the effort to maintain the secrecy.

As the evening went on there were lots of laughs, a few tears of deep emotion, and the buzzy, semi-chaotic activity that comes when a large family is all in one place - hallmarks of a truly Special Occasion.

F.O.M.O.*

Design & Image: Laura Messersmith

Lately I've been thinking a lot about time. Days, hours, and minutes and how all of these small bits of time add up to weeks, months, and years which seem to pass faster and faster as I get older. Remember how summer vacation in elementary school used to feel like an endless, golden stretch of days? More than 2 months to do nothing but swim, have sleepovers, and ride bikes! And it all crept by at a deliciously glacial pace. Bliss. 

Compare that to when I checked the mail last week and found our apartment lease renewal notice among the catalogs and credit card offers. I could hardly believe we were coming up on a year in New York. Yes, the boxes are unpacked and we do have pictures on the walls, but it still feels like we just moved in! Where did the time go?

I suppose what really got me thinking about time were the moments on our trip to Austria & Croatia, and more recently to Santa Barbara county, when I felt the simultaneous push-pull of exploration vs. relaxation. I wanted my feet to cover every square inch, to see it all and not 'waste' a second of our precious time. But, I also wanted to sit quietly, preferably with a cool glass of white or rosé in hand, and just feel the peace and beauty of our surroundings roll over me.

That conflict spills over into regular, real, non- vacation life too. There are so many things I want to learn, places I want to go, and experiences I want to have. I've talked before about some of my goals for 2014 and my desire to allow myself time to do ‘nothing’ like reading books. I suppose I’m hoping that by recording my efforts here that I’ll be a little more aware of when I need to let go and enjoy the relaxation moments or be more focused in the exploration times.

Which brings us to today, this afternoon is gorgeous and sunny – but I’ve been sitting in the park pecking away on my phone for the last hour writing this post. Time to hold myself to this little burst of insight. Time to bask, finish The Fault in Our Stars (excellent, by the way), and soak it all in.

*Fear of Missing Out